


Temporary

by Fujoshi_heaven



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst without a happy ending, I am very sorry, M/M, hospital au, iwaoi - Freeform, no hot doctors just death for you today, not the kind of hospital au you were expecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 10:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11160225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujoshi_heaven/pseuds/Fujoshi_heaven
Summary: It's like sucking the last sip from your favourite drink. You never want it to end, so you make sure to enjoy the last droplets as much as you can.Other people get to drink big cups full of cocoa, others get a large tall glass of water and others get small tequila shots.I got the tequila shot.In which Iwaizumi remembers his lover's last words.





	Temporary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MrsNosebleeds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsNosebleeds/gifts).



> Dedicated to the world's second best fujoshi, MrsNosebleeds. Thank you thank you thank you for being my beta reader and helping me out with this one!! Consider it a late bday present <3 (sorry it made you cry though XD)  
> I always say "meh, Iwaoi, ok, not the best but, you know" but in reality they are pretty friggin amazing ^_^  
> BACK TO THE SAD MOOD NOW SORRY  
> my apologies in advance : /

In a way, we all are temporary.

No-one gets a restart in life...at least as far as we know.

No lucky bastard has come back to say "hey, look! I'm alive and kicking!"

Life's kind of a one time thing, you know.

I know that's super cliché, but I can't help but think about that all the time.

Ever since he stopped tossing to me.

Ever since he started calling me "Hajime" instead of "Iwa-chan"

Ever since his hair slowly receded from his head as if they were blown away by the wind.

I was probably the only one who thought that even that part of him was amazing. He never hid it. He often said he'd buy a wig, but he never did. I like to think he did that on purpose. That it wasn't because he didn't have enough time to decide on the color or the length like he used to claim. He hid a lot of things.

He refused to hide this one, though.

It's like sucking the last sip from your favourite drink. You never want it to end,so you make sure to enjoy the last droplets as much as you can.

Comparing his life with the remains of a drink is truly the most disrespectful thing I could do to him. I'm very selfish, but there is reasoning to my thinking.

Other people get to drink big cups full of cocoa, others get a large tall glass of water and others get small tequila shots.

I got the tequila shot.

"Hajime” he croaked, “Hi” his voice is still hoarse from previously sleeping.

The way he laid on the white bed that smelled like detergent and nothing like Oikawa was angelic. His head rested elevated by a dozen fluffy, multicolored pillows.

 _"Since I'm moving in here, I don't plan_ _on being separated from my precious pillows! My grandma made some of these_ _._ _You'll be alright, Hajime, you always sleep on..." he hesitated because he knew that the raven slept wrapping his arms around him and pressing his face in his neck_

_"You don't need them!" he ended up saying, a huge smile gracing him and eyes gleaming with hope that, after a while, he might be Hajime's pillow again._

That didn't work out in the end.

His eyes were tired, even though he had just woken up, but ever so full of beauty and light.

It was a special kind of light that only I could see. He saw the same light in me as well, I am sure. Everyone else thought that the light, _his light_ , had gone away,

Oh boy, were they wrong.

When they looked at him, they felt as if the only way to keep him alive was to give him some of their own light.

As if I didn't do that already.

I tried. It didn't work. So why do they think that they have something special that will turn things around?

He had his own light that hadn’t left him just yet

It most certainly hadn’t.

It was like his illness was chasing it away, living off of it. It just happened to gather up inside of him, not projecting outward anymore.

I took steady steps towards him and laid down next to him, cupping his cheek with my hand.

We shared a short kiss. He closed his eyes and enjoying it, like he always did.

Every time I came to stay with him after work we played games, looked at old photos and discussed over different attack systems that we could have used to beat Karasuno, because if there's one thing he did even at that time, it was holding grudges.

Other times we cuddled, just like we did that day

We readjusted so that he was in my arms, his back pressed on my chest. I lightly massaged his shoulders and caressed him.

I always did the caressing, but I never thought that it would be one of the things I would miss the most.

We sat there in silence, just thinking to ourselves.

"Hajime, remember Tobio - chan's face when we played against his team again in university? How much I would pay to see him like that again! That idiot..."

I chuckled.

"I'd sell our wedding rings"

"Hajime!" he playfully smacked my arm.

And just like that we stopped talking. He wasn't feeling talkative - he was in general less gossipy and cheerful, but not that much.

I really wish I hadn't gotten the tequila shot. The very small tequila shot.

I wish I had the huge mug, so I could slowly sip from it.

I got to say happy birthday to him twenty seven times. Twenty two if you take out the years we didn't know each other.

I'm just so pissed that all he was to this world was a shot.

A quick, intoxicating, bitter shot.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the shot that I was given.

I still do.

All of me and him was squished inside that little glass. Our first conversation, our first volleyball game, our first date, our first I love you, our first time, our first "I do" (not that we would have another one, but still), our first trip to the hospital, his first chemotherapy session, my first time sobbing in his arms.

I keep forgetting that he got the tequila shot too.

I got the depressing hangover part of it and he got the deadly taste.

What startled me was that he stopped crying after a while. I hadn't seen him shed a tear in three months.

His last three months.

He was very strong.

I cried all the time when I went to our home to take a shower and eat something, or to bring him anything that he wanted.

 

"Hajime?"

 

Lately he cut through my thoughts more often. That is because I was thinking more, our whole life passing in my mind.

I kept getting distracted.

 

"Hm?"

 

A short pause.

 

"I want you to give Tobio - chan my ball. My special ball that I keep in the basement. The one we used to play with. I also want you to give all my stuffed aliens to Kindaichi and Kunimi - chan's son."

He took a deep breath and a single tear rolled down my cheek.

Thank God he couldn't see me in this position.

"I want you to wear all of my clothes! We are the same size and we kind of always shared anyway...but...I really want you to wear my clothes. I know, it's gonna look creepy, you wearing my E.T. sweatshirt, but _please_ , Hajime, do it. I don't want you to forget me..." he was babbling and I could hear the guilt and complaint in his voice.

I squeezed him so tightly I'm sure it hurt. I nuzzled my face into his neck.

"You idiot! I'll never forget you...No-one will"

"I don't care about everyone else. Just you." He turns his head to face me, supporting himself on his knees and grunting, trying to move without inflicting any pain. His eyes were glassy.

Mine were wet.

"But...you have to promise me something"

He took my shocked staring as a sign to move on.

_This feels like he's resiting his will._

_I think I'm going to throw up._

He took my hands into his cold and bony ones.

"Find someone else. Please find someone else. Don't be alone. Your heart is big enough for two people. Hell, go adopt kids with the guy, your heart is extra big and I know it!" he laughed bitterly. 

I, however, did not.

It's pointless to tell you about how much I assured him that I would never  _ever_ find someone like him ever again and how many times I told him how stupid he was for even thinking about telling me to suddenly lock us in the back of my mind and go out trying to find a replacement for him. 

In the midst of his fifth attempt to hook me up with someone, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Okay, shut up for a second!"

We locked eyes.

I took a deep breath.

_Here goes._

"Tooru, I love you. I love you so much, you can't even understand...I'm...I'm so hopelessly in love with you...I didn't tell you enough times."

We were both crying, but I kept talking.

"I love you so much, I can't ever think of getting remarried. I love you so much I would give up volleyball for you. I love you so much I would take your place if I could. I love you so much and I don't want you to go...By the way I still think your alien movies are crap and I still think your pancakes are awful because you make them without looking at the recipe because "love is your secret ingredient"..."

He laughed. I laughed.

He kissed me. I kissed back.

We kissed for what it feels like the best kiss I'd ever had.

I wondered if that was our last kiss.

_Oh God._

I kissed his tears away. They're still as salty as I remembered them, when I tasted them more frequently during other hard times of his. 

"I love you, Iwa - chan"

It was like he was fine after he said it. I could sense his relief and his surrender.

He hugged me, resting his head on my chest, probably feeling my racing heart.

I tried to cover the most part of his body with mine. 

I guess, I  _hope,_ that that was the way he wanted it to end. 

Was I a good boyfriend?

Was I a good husband?

Did I love him enough?

Did I kiss him enough times?

Did I spike enough of his tosses?

Did I ever hurt him?

In a sick way, I was glad his last words were for only me to hear and treasure.

"I love you too, Tooru"

 

 

In a way, we all are temporary.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this angsty fic!! Sorry for making you sad *o*  
> comment and tell me your opinion on it!  
> Critiques make me a better person :P  
> ok bye <3  
> (p.s. IT WAS A TOTAL COINCIDENCE THAT THIS IS UPLOADED ON IWA-CHAN'S BIRTHDAY)


End file.
